booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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