you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Jerry, you need to find god
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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