dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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