I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
