You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
