my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you traded sex for a burrito?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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