Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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