i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
