You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
