Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
