I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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