Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
