i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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