Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
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i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
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So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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