I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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