Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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