haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
