u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
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I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
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we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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