I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize