i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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