Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
