We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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