Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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