her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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