FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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