Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
