So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
