I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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