You're so nebulous sometimes
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
