I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
