Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
