It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have aggressive nipples.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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