Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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