She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
