I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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