you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize