i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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