had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
