thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Oh god it's open bar.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
