My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
