You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize