I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
