I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
