Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
