this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
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Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
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Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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