I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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