I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize