Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize