ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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