You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
