A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
