put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
