After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
