That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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