I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
