Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
