dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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