All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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