my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
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