the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
