I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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