please come you make the beer taste better
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
