he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
