Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
All the doctor said was why
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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