Already got asked if we're dating
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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