I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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