So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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