U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
