Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
